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The basis of any effective therapy is the quality of the relationship between the client (you!) and the therapist (me!). If you don’t ‘gel’, you probably won’t get as much out of the sessions as you need to.

In order to build that relationship, you need to be relaxed and comfortable. You need to be somewhere you feel untroubled, calm and cosy. Somewhere you feel in control of, somewhere you can be yourself.

On-line therapy simply means therapy offered over a video link. It works exactly the same way as face-to-face therapy, in real-time and the relationship built allows the client to explore themselves to find out what they need to know. On-line therapy also offers other benefits though, that face-to-face counselling can’t provide:

• You can remain in your own home. If you are anxious about leaving the house, this might be a very attractive feature for you. For most people, it means you are at your most relaxed and comfortable, so therapy can progress more quickly.
• You can access therapy during the working day. If you are at work, taking an hour out for an additional ‘meeting’ with your therapist means minimal disruption to your day. As long as you can find a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed, you can fit therapy in at a convenient time for you.
• No travel is required, you don’t have to worry about directions, parking or traffic.

In the past, counselling has always taken place in a ‘therapy room’ provided by the counsellor. This can give the client the opportunity to leave their ‘normal life’ behind and go somewhere independent, with no reminders of daily life, so that they can be absorbed in themselves.

Since COVID however, circumstances forced many therapists to begin offering on-line sessions. Just like in many work-places, people had to work from home, team meetings and even family gatherings became Zoom calls. This had always been considered a poor alternative to being face to face in the past, because how do you build a relationship through a computer screen?

It turns out though, you can build a really good relationship on-line. It’s something we’ve quickly become used to, and now we’re even discovering the benefits it offers.

On-line therapy might not be suitable for everyone. Only you know what works for you. But if you give it a try, you might be surprised.

Who is Counselling for?

• Counselling is for people exactly like you
• It can help you understand why you feel and act the way you do in different situations
• It can then help you answer questions such as why you lack confidence, or what you really want from life.

You might think counselling is for people who have suffered terrible trauma in their life. People who have been abused and neglected. People who can’t cope with life and want to end it. Definitely not someone like you.

Yes, those people would definitely be helped by counselling. But it might surprise you to learn that counselling is actually also for people exactly like you. And I can say that with 100% certainty. Because as much as you think you know yourself, and as much as you think you are in control of your self and life, I can guarantee that there is more to you than even you realise.

The fact is, nobody knows everything. And my favourite: “You don’t know what you don’t know”.

For example, are you a judgemental person? “No!” I hear you shout, “live and let live is my motto!”. But when you walk into a room of strangers, how do you decide who to sit next to? And who you should avoid? You size everyone up, you make snap judgements about them and choose the person you’re most comfortable with solely on the way they look! That is a judgement. An innocent, self-preserving one, but a judgement none the less.

Who you avoid and who you don’t is often due to who they remind you of… a bully from your childhood? Your mother? A teacher you once had?  Who are they to you? Why does a stranger evoke certain feelings in you, totally unrelated to who they actually are?

Counselling can help you to understand that, and lay to rest ghosts from your past that influence you without you even realising it.

And once you know that, maybe you can figure out why certain people intimidate you, or why you lack confidence at work?

Another example, what do you think success is? A well-paid job? Perhaps having a loving family means success? Or perhaps being able to manage both means success. To put it another way, does being well-paid mean success to you, or does it mean nothing to you?  And why do you think that?

Counselling can help you to understand why you believe the things you do, where those beliefs came from, and most importantly whether or not they still hold true to you. It can free you from restrictive thoughts that you have never questioned before but which now hold you back.

And once you know that, maybe you can figure out why you’re not as happy as you want to be, and what needs to change.

So you see, counselling is for everyone. Everyone who is brave enough to take the journey into themselves, and find out who they really are. And then eventually to live the life they’ve always wanted.

At its most basic, counselling is being listened to. Obviously there’s more to it than that, or else it wouldn’t take so long to qualify as a counsellor!

It is probably easier to say what counselling is not; it’s not getting advice, it’s not being told what to do, it’s not being ‘fixed’ by someone. A counsellor will not prescribe you anti-depressants or other medication.

A good counsellor will listen to you…

A good counsellor will hear you…

… and then a good counsellor will tell you what they’ve heard. And that’s where the magic happens.

Because sometimes it’s like hearing it for the first time, the penny drops and you realise you know the answer to your troubles.

It feels like magic, but it isn’t. It will change your life.